I Gave Birth (again): A Story

Warning #1: This is REALLY REALLY LONG!

Warning #2: Words such as dilated, cervix, contractions and screaming on the top of my lungs are used, please read with caution.

Introduction
Both with Davey and Gordon I have a lot of false labor which always gets my hopes up, leaves me disappointed and exhausted, and provides plenty of practice. In truth, I was hoping that I would have a lot of false labor again because it was my plan to use it as practice sessions for pain management. My pain management plan was simple. I developed it mostly from reading “Husband Coached Childbirth” by Doctor Bradley, which I highly suggest and a few other websites online. The plan is slow deep, controlled, mouth breathing (no nose breathing which is what I was told in Davey’s childbirth class: in with the nose, out with the mouth); relaxing every muscle in the body (except the uterus, of course) by focusing on each one in turn; visualizing my body opening up and applying counter pressure to my lower back (which was to Joseph’s main job during the real deal).

Doctor Appt: Week 37
During my 37 week 4 day appointment I was 3 centimeters dilated. “Wow,” I said surprised, “but I haven’t had many contractions at all.” Last time I had arrived at the hospital at 3 cms after hours of real labor. The doctor gave me a lot of hope and positive encouragement that the baby would soon come. After that appointment the false labor really picked up. The contractions usually came once I went to bed or really early in the morning. The contractions lasted for about 2-3 hours and then would stop as quickly as they started.

Doctor Appt: Week 38
I was so excited for my 38 weeks and 4 days appointment. Earlier that morning I had 3 hours of consistent contractions. I was certain that I would be 5 or 6 cms and the doctor would strip my membranes and send me directly to the hospital. However, I was only 3 1/2 cms. I didn’t see how that could be possible and was so mad about it! At this point until the baby actually came anybody who talked to me only heard constant complaining; I just couldn’t have been more upset!

Doctor Appt: Week 39
After another week of false labor, I was back in the doctor’s office at 39 weeks and 4 days. Now I was dilated to 4 cms. I talked before going o my appointment with Joseph about getting my membranes stripped to help start labor. Joseph didn’t like the idea but I was anxious to get the baby out. I had heard that it was really painful so I was scared to ask for it. After my doctor checked me he talked to me about being induced. He had already talked about this a few weeks ago. My doctor was really pushing for me to get induced because Davey was late and I had 2 hours of pushing plus the use of forceps for delivery. The doctor said there was no reason for the baby to get any bigger than 39 weeks so he wanted me to schedule the induction but both Joseph and I felt that spontaneous labor was best for both the baby and me. So now that I was 39 weeks and I was 4 cms the doctor wanted me to head off to the hospital that afternoon. Also, the other doctor in the practice was out of town for the weekend so this doctor would be covering both the hospital in Provo and Payson (about a 20 minute drive) so it would be a lot easier for him if I was induced today. It was really tempting sounding, I was so anxious for the baby to get out, but I decided to stick to my original spontaneous labor plan. I asked the doctor what he thought about stripping my membranes to help me go into labor. He said that he “kind of already did while he was checking me earlier.” My three thoughts to this were 1. What does “kind of already did” mean? Can you “kind of” strip membranes or did he fully strip the membranes? 2. Was he going to ask first? Was he not going to tell me if I hadn’t asked? and 3. I had no idea that it was happening at all, but I thought it was supposed to really hurt. The nurses in the office were very encouraging that I would have my baby tonight. “Go to the mall and walk around for 2 hours and you’ll be coming back to the hospital tonight,” said one of the nurses with complete confidence. Joseph and I decided to do just that. We walked for 2 hours and I was tired and Davey was cranky we went home and I had zero contractions that night.

Sunday June 13th
3 days later, on my due date, Saturday I was up all night with contractions and I was too exhausted to go to church which was good because the previous week I had told everyone I wouldn’t be at church the next week because I was certain I would have a baby. I was much too embarrassed to show up to church and much too to tired to have to answer all the typical questions over again. That night we picked Joseph’s mother up. She had flown into Salt Lake City from Colorado the week before and gone up to Idaho to her parent’s house. The plan was that once I had the baby, she would take the bus down to Provo, but since I hadn’t had the baby yet she came down anyways to spend time with us before her return ticket on Saturday. I was increasingly upset because she had flown out to help with Davey and the house when I had the baby and there was no baby! Also, I wanted to take as much advantage of her help since she was my only help with the baby. I would have felt forever terrible if she flew out and I didn’t even have the baby by the time she left. The night I went into labor with Davey, Joseph and I watched a movie and ate homemade popcorn, so I thought that homemade popcorn would be a good idea again. During the movie I started to have contractions. I went to bed and woke up several times during the night because of contractions.

Monday June 14th
Finally at 5 am on Monday June 14th the contractions were so uncomfortable I couldn’t fall back to sleep so I started watching the clock. The contractions were consistently 10 minutes apart. At 6am Joseph got up to get ready for school. Today was the last day of class. Joseph was going up to campus to finish an assignment and then had class from 9am to 11am. I ate breakfast with him and told him what was happening. I told him I thought he should go to school since the contractions were only ten minutes apart but to keep his phone on vibrate and to check it often. When he left I went back to bed and kept watching the clock: still every ten minutes. At 7:30 am Davey woke up and my mother-in-law got him breakfast. Then I got up to be with them; I was starting to get really excited that this was going to be the real thing. Actually at this point I was very sure this was the real thing but I still didn’t want to say so. At 8 am Joseph called to get an update. I had just had 2 contractions that were only 7 minutes apart. I told him to call again at 9 am before he started class. At 8:30 am my contractions jumped to 5 minutes apart. When Joseph called again I told him to just turn his project in and come home. I decided to take a shower while I waited for Joseph to come. In the shower my contractions quickened a lot, but I don’t know how fast they were coming. I also knew that they had started to get more intense but the hot water was helping with pain. I was scared to get out of the shower. When I heard that Joseph was home I got out, got dressed, grabbed my pre-packed bags and we headed off to the hospital.

The Hospital
After we checked in, got to our room and I changed into my hospital gown it was 9:55 am. The nurse came in and checked me right away: I was dilated to 6 cms! I was so happy that I actually started crying. I asked if could go and sit in the hot tub. That was another part of my pain management plan. Hot water is very effective in reducing pain and it helps you relax. My nurse told me that I could not and I had to sit on my bed with the monitor and ridiculously heavy and irritating blood pressure band around my arm. I explained that with my last baby I was allowed to use the hot tub and it was the best part of my whole labor and the part I advanced the quickest in. She said that since I was already 6 cms the baby’s heart needed to be monitored constantly. I was so mad! I got an IV in with a bag of fluids and a cup of ice chips then Joseph and I were left alone for awhile. Previously I had been too distracted to pay much attention to what was happening to my contractions but now with the monitor on, I noticed they were slowing down a lot. The contractions were about 90 seconds to 2 minutes long with almost 10 minutes in between. Even though the contractions were long and painful I still felt in control because of the long break in which I was able to regroup, rest and remind myself how much I wanted to do this drug free. Joseph and I developed a system where I would point at him when I wanted him to start counting and he would slowly count to 4 over and over while I would inhale during one set of counting and exhale on the next.

The 11 AM Hour
A little after 11 am the nurse came back and checked me. I was 7 cm dilated. This wasn’t as much as I expected but the labor was still doable so I wasn’t too discouraged. The nurse told me she had called my doctor and he was with another girl in labor in the Payson Hospital. If he wasn't finished there soon enough he had a friend doctor with an office only 5 minutes away who could come and deliver the baby. Soon after this the contractions started to get more intense and make more nervous. I could feel my brain losing control during the contractions and it was increasingly harder to keep my breathing slow. At 11:30 am the nurse came to check me again: 7 ½ cms. This time I cried again because I had hoped after the more intense contractions I would have progressed more. After this the contractions started piling up. After a few sets of 3 or 4 contractions where there was no break and only a minute or two before the next set started I was finished. I started telling Joseph that I couldn’t do it and I needed an epidural. He asked me if I was sure and after a few minutes of debating I gave up on the thought that I could do this and he told the nurse I needed an epidural. “The anesthesiologist just went in with another patient; it’ll be about 10 minutes,” replied the nurse. This next part Joseph thinks is the funniest thing that happened all day, but I don’t think so because I was completely serious. “10 minutes!” I yelled loud enough for the whole hospital to hear, “I can’t wait 10 minutes! I’m going to die!” I had no idea what I was going to do. I asked if I could use the bathroom and I got unhooked from everything. Joseph helped me into the bathroom. While we were there Joseph gave me a great pep talk. He told me that I was already doing it and he really felt like I could do it.

The 12AM Hour
When we got back out of the bathroom it was a little after 12 pm. The nurse wanted to check me before I got all the monitor stuff back on. I was still at 7 ½ cms. This time I didn’t get back into the bed but just sat on the side with my feet hanging off. I had Joseph get the lotion and asked him to rub hard on my lower back. I also got into a swaying rhythm with my hips. Joseph kept telling me how great I was doing, but what did he know, I thought. So I asked the nurse how she thought I was handling it for how far along I was. She said that she didn’t know because at the Provo hospital they had 97% epidural rate and she hasn’t seen many drug-free births. By the time the anesthesiologist came in I had renewed confidence that I really could do this and sent him away. At 12:30 pm the blood pressure arm band had started to take my blood pressure but previously it had slipped down my arm and was by my elbow. I guess since the band couldn’t read the pulse it just kept tightening and my fingers were turning purple and my fingers were being pushed on top of each other and it hurt a lot! It took awhile for me to get the nurse’s attention since I was having contractions and couldn’t get normal words out. She probably didn’t notice I was pointing to my arm and thought my freaking out was just like all the other freaking out I’d been doing anyways. Luckily she finally noticed and fixed the arm band. I begged and pleaded and did all I knew how to let me take the blasted arm band off. I mean it was only taking my blood pressure every half hour did it really have to stay on the whole time! But my nurse didn’t budge. I was so mad! At some other point I broke down again and stated my intention to get an epidural RIGHT NOW! The nurse said that she would call the anesthesiologist but I had to be 100% certain I would get it because she didn’t want the anesthesiologist to get mad because he had to keep walking down the hall. Really that was the least of my concerns at the moment but I re-decided again that I could do it.

The 1PM Hour
At 1 pm a nurse told us that my doctor had just finished up at Payson Hospital and was on his way. This news really helped me continue on. I knew that when he got there he would break my water and I felt certain I would be able to start pushing soon after.

The Doctor Arrives
Around 1:30 pm the doctor finally arrived! When he checked me he said that there was hardly any cervix left and then broke my water. He asked if I felt the urge to push and I said no. He said that I should feel the need to push but he’d give it 10 more minutes then started to walk out the door. I began to panic and yelled “Where are you going?!?!” The doctor laughed and said he would be back in 10 minutes. 10 minutes later I still didn’t have the urge to push but the doctor said that it was time anyways.

Pushing
I expected them to set the stirrups up, which is what they did when I started pushing for Davey, but the doctor just sat on the side of my bed next to me and had me hold both my legs up to my chest and told me to sit half way up to push. He told me that my baby was posterior meaning that the baby’s head was faced up instead of down and that that can cause your labor to stall, which makes sense of why I was at a 7 ½ cms for so long. He said that he would try to turn the baby while I pushed. This part was longer and harder than I thought it would be. Other people who have done a drug-free birth said that pushing was the best part. While I actually was pushing this was true but I was so exhausted and had zero strength left it was hard for me to hold on to my legs , sit myself up halfway and push for very long. Also you’re supposed to start and stop pushing when a contractions starts and stops but I couldn’t feel the contraction while I was pushing so I didn’t know when to stop and so I would just stop whenever but when I did stop I would be contracting and the whole process was so confusing to me. Remember that arm band I hated, well it really got in the way of my trying to hold my legs up while I pushed. I tried again to get the nurse to take it off. She refused. Luckily my doctor was there and he told the nurse to take the arm band off. Finally! I pushed for about 20 minutes then all of a sudden . . .

Crowning
. . . the absolute most horrible pain ever imaginable occurred. Apparently it’s called crowning! Essentially I was screaming bloody murder on the top of my lungs! I heard the doctor say something about letting this sit for 5 minutes to stretch me out. I would have started screaming louder but I already was screaming as much as was humanly possible. All of a sudden another nurse rushed in with a name tag saying “Christy.” She came to my side and said such things as: “To have a burning feeling is normal.” And that’s supposed to help how? I thought while I continued to scream. “Kristi, that’s such a great name,” she said. Don’t try to distract me, lady, I thought while I continued to scream. “You really need to try and breathe,” she coaxed. Not going to happen, I thought, while I continued to scream. I was vaguely aware of what else was happening: the doctor was putting his delivery clothes on; he was giving me a shot and saying something about doing a cut on the original incision. He could’ve been loading his pistol or sharpening his saw for all I cared. They put the stirrups up and put my feet in them. The doctor said to push and finally the pain stopped. Nurse Christy said, “The head is out one more push!” I pushed again and . . .

2:09 PM
. . . Nurse Christy said, “sit up and look” as she helped me up to sit up and I saw one of t he world’s most beautiful sites: “It’s a boy!” I said.

All Done
In the background I heard someone say, “It’s a big one.” I noticed my legs were shaking uncontrollably. I was nervous and asked if I was going into shock. The doctor informed me that this was normal and would go away. “Sorry for all the screaming,” was the next thing I said. “Don’t worry; it’s music to my ears,” he responded. Even though this was the same man that delivered Davey, I felt so different this time. Last time I didn’t feel any special connection with him or particularly thankful, he was just doing his job. But now I feel as if I could never thank him enough. Nurse Christy brought me my baby. “8 lbs 6 ozs, “ I heard somebody say. I couldn’t believe it. Everything was so surreal and so wonderful. Everything was made so right, so prefect, when I had that baby in my arms.

Post Edit Thoughts
That day there were 25 babies born in Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. Inculding the baby of my friend and visiting teaching companion. My regular nurse was named something that started with an M, I can't remember now, the same nurse that my friend had, and she didn't like her either. Consequently, my friend's doctor is the doctor that would have delivered me if my doctor hadn't made it.

Would I do it again?
Which part? Have another baby? 100% yes. Deliver drug-free? 85 - 90% yes, but I really don't want to think too much about it right now.